pecass Posted September 2, 2013 Report Share Posted September 2, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sondek Posted September 2, 2013 Report Share Posted September 2, 2013 Muva Mujo Fatu na moru: -Ajd' Fato da idemo na nudisticku plazu? -Ma nemoj bolan,mislice ljudi da sam se udala za tebe bog para. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grnca Posted September 2, 2013 Report Share Posted September 2, 2013 Udvara se crnogorac devojci pa je pita : A lepa si nema Å¡ta nego jel imaÅ¡ posao ? Devojka odgovara : Imam . Crnogorac : A jel oćeÅ¡ da ti sredim trudniÄko ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SUROKVL Posted September 10, 2013 Report Share Posted September 10, 2013 Kaže otac sinu koji se sprema za odmor na Tajlandu: -Čuvaj se tamo sine.Ima svakakvih djevojaka,prostitutki,bolesnih....zarazit ćeš se. Onda ćeš zaraziti komšinicu, komšinica će zaraziti mene,ja mamu.... a ti znaš mamu!...Pomreće nam pola komšiluka!... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perodeformero Posted September 10, 2013 Report Share Posted September 10, 2013 PriÄa Mujo: Nemam twitter, pa idem okolo sa megafonom i objavljujem Å¡ta radim i Å¡ta mi se deÅ¡ava preko dana. Za sad imam troje koji me prate, a mislim da su dvojica panduri... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iron man Posted September 10, 2013 Report Share Posted September 10, 2013 Zeni se Mujo al u sredu. Pita ga Haso: -Mujo bolan svi se zene u subotu il nedelju a ti u sredu. Sto tako mimo sveta? Mujo odgovara: -E cuj zasto. Pa necu sebi da upropastim vikend Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucky Strike Posted September 11, 2013 Report Share Posted September 11, 2013 Uputstvo za korišćenje Srbi ne citaju uputstva da vide šta treba da urade, nego da vide gde su se zajebali. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonichammer Posted October 6, 2013 Report Share Posted October 6, 2013 Ako nije bilo.... Pritrcava tip kiosku i "u letu" pita prodavca: "Imate li papirne maramice?" Prodavac: " Samo Paloma." Tip : " Pa loma mi i batre!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vlajo Posted October 6, 2013 Report Share Posted October 6, 2013 Srbi ne citaju uputstva da vide Å¡ta treba da urade, nego da vide gde su se zajebali. OdliÄan !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jager Posted October 7, 2013 Report Share Posted October 7, 2013 Tek vjenÄani par je u braku tek tjedan dana. Muž, iako jako zaljubljen, nije mogao doÄekati da izaÄ‘e van na sa svojim prijateljima, pa je rekao svojoj novoj ženi: -Draga, vraćam se odmah. -Gdje ćeÅ¡, duÅ¡o? pitala je žena. -Idem u kafić, ljepotice. Idem na pivce. Žena mu odgovori: -ŽeliÅ¡ pivo, ljubavi? Otvorila je vrata frižidera i pokazala mu 25 razliÄitih vrsta piva iz 12 raznih zemalja: Belgije, NjemaÄke, Nizozemske, Japana, Indije, ÄŒeÅ¡ke... itd. Muž nije znao Å¡ta da radi, i jedino Å¡to mu je palo na pamet da kaže bilo je: -Da malena, ali u kafiću… znaš… imaju ledene ÄaÅ¡e… Nije stigao ni zavrÅ¡iti reÄenicu kada ga je žena prekinula govoreći: -ŽeliÅ¡ ledenu ÄaÅ¡u, najdraži? Uzela je veliku kriglu iz zamrzivaÄa, ledenu tako da se naježila Äim ju je uzela u ruke. Muž, je, već pomalo blijed, rekao: -Da, duÅ¡ice, ali u kafiću imaju i one super grickalice… Neću dugo, odmah ću se vratiti. Obećavam. OK? -ŽeliÅ¡ grickalice, medeni? Otvorila je ormarić i poÄela vaditi Äips, kikiriki, kokice… -Ali mila moja… u kafiću… znaš… psuju i govore ružne rijeÄi.†-ŽeliÅ¡ ružne rijeÄi, kretenu? Nemoj da ti jebem mater, ima da popijeÅ¡ to svoje smrdljivo pivo u svojoj jebenoj ledenoj krigli i pojedeÅ¡ te usrane grickalice, ti si sada oženjen, i ti ne ideÅ¡ nigdje! Jasno, seronjo? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VU metar Posted October 7, 2013 Report Share Posted October 7, 2013 Još da mu je otvorila ormar a unutra - prijatelj! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silver Surfer Posted October 7, 2013 Report Share Posted October 7, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoltan Posted October 16, 2013 Report Share Posted October 16, 2013 elem evo jednog za Macka vegetarijanca Ode Lala kod doktora i kaze - doktore, cini mi se da nesto slabije vidim. Ne vidim bas dobro kad mi neko dolazi sa one strane shora... na to ce doktor.. - u redu Lalo, izvrsicemo analize, vadices krv itd... kroz par dana , posle pregleda, gleda doktor analize i kaze... - Lalo, imas povisen secer, i zato slabije vidis. A pogledaj analize - ni holesterol , onaj los nije dobar, ni trigliceridi ... Lalo imam tuznu vest za tebe: - nema vise leberki, shvargli, slanine, cvaraka... Na to ce Lala - ta sta me briga ko ide sa one strane shora Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scorpio(DDMF)! Posted November 21, 2013 Report Share Posted November 21, 2013 Imate problema sa svojim japanskim cd player-om? http://www.dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=110 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boban777 Posted December 2, 2013 Report Share Posted December 2, 2013 Bog, Obama, Putin, Nikolic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucky Strike Posted December 4, 2013 Report Share Posted December 4, 2013 Srela se dva drugara iz srednje Å¡kole na pijaci. - Gde si, bre, nisam te video sto godina! Jesi ti beÅ¡e zavrÅ¡io medicinu? - Jesam, jesam… prosek 8.9! - Svaka Äast, uvek si bio mozak! A poÅ¡to su ti krastavci? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gvlada Posted December 4, 2013 Report Share Posted December 4, 2013 To je pre za plakanje... zato svi s mozgom koji mogu beze iz zemlje a tutubani vladaju prostom masom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vladovid Posted December 19, 2013 Report Share Posted December 19, 2013 Kako se probuditi za posao? -Stavite Karleusu za alarm u 07:00. Probudićeš se u 06:50 da ne slušaš nju!! Radi 100 %! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NShappy Posted December 20, 2013 Report Share Posted December 20, 2013 ^^ Ma ne valja to. Ja cele noći ne bih oka sklopio iz straha da se ne uspavam i da alarm ipak krene da se dere. A kada krene, telefon bih Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SUROKVL Posted December 24, 2013 Report Share Posted December 24, 2013 Zaboli Muju lakat pa ode do lekara. Kaže mu lekar da su u domu zdravlja uveli nov kompjuterski dijagnostiÄki centar i da samo treba da donese u flaÅ¡ici malo mokraće, a kompjuter će mu reći od Äega boluje. IzaÄ‘e Mujo od lekara i pita se: - Otkud može jedna glupa maÅ¡ina da zna od Äega mene boli lakat, kad hećim ne zna? Sad ću ja sve njih da nasamarim. Tako on doÄ‘e kući, uzme flaÅ¡icu, malo se u nju pomokri, pa da flaÅ¡icu Fati da i ona dopuni, pa onda pozove ćerku Fatidžu i sina Mujicu da uÄine to isto. Onda joÅ¡ sipa u flaÅ¡icu pomalo mokraće psa i maÄke i preko svega toga joÅ¡ malo izd*ka. Dok se vraćao do ambulante, sretne Hasu, pa zamoli i njega da dopuni flaÅ¡icu do vrha. Sipa lekar sadržinu flaÅ¡ice u epruvetu, stavi unutra dve elektrode, ukljuÄi kompjuter i na ekranu poÄnu da izlaze rezultati: - MaÄka ti ima buve. - Pas ti ima besnilo. - Ćerka ti je u drugom stanju. - Sin ti se drogira. - Haso ima triper. - Žena Fata takoÄ‘e ima triper (dobila od Hase). - A ti, kad masturbiraÅ¡ u klozetu, pazi da ne udaraÅ¡ laktom u zid, pa te neće ni boleti. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikstev2000 Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 A guy goes out one day, hunting for bear. After a few hours in the forest, he finally sees a giant grizzly. He gets the bear in the rifle's sight and is about to pull the trigger when he feels a tap on his shoulder. It's another bear. 'Buddy,' the bear says, 'that's my best friend down there. I can rip your head off right now, or you can suck my dick. What's it gonna be?' Fearing for his life, the hunter says 'I'll suck your dick, Mr. Bear.' The next day, hungry for revenge, the hunter returns to the woods and sees the same bear. But as soon as he lines up the bear in his sights, he feels a tap on his shoulder. 'Buddy,' says the bear. 'Today, I can rip your head off or you can fuck me in the ass.' Again fearing for his life, the hunter replies, 'I'll fuck you in the ass Mr.Bear.' The next day, furious at what has happened to him, the hunter returns to the forest in order to kill same bear. Once again, he gets the bear in his rifle sights when he feels a tap on his shoulder. The bear shakes his head at the hunter and says, 'You don't come here for the hunting do you?' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NShappy Posted January 30, 2014 Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 ^^ A što na engleskom? Ima isti za bosanca i medveda... I opet mi nije jasno, za drugi odlazak, kada je u pitanju bio analni sex, ko je tu trebao koga da 'ebe? Lovac medveda?!? "...Today, I can rip your head off or you can fuck me in the ass." "...I'll fuck you in the ass Mr.Bear" U našoj verziji vica, medved je bio pozadi. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikstev2000 Posted January 30, 2014 Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 bio je copy/paste... Nisam znao za bosanca i medveda... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NShappy Posted January 31, 2014 Report Share Posted January 31, 2014 ...sef salje SMS radniku: posalji mi jedan od onih tvojih dobrih viceva!!! ...radnik odgovara: trenutno radim, poslacu vam kasnije!!!! ...sef odgovara: ovaj ti je dobar, posalji jos koji!! Možda NASA ima razlog zašto šalje malo žena na misije... Prva žena na mesecu: - Hjustone, imamo problem... - Šta je? - Nema veze, ništa... - Šta je problem? - Ništa! - Reci nam šta je problem! - NEĆU! - Molim te reci nam šta je problem. - Znaš ti dobro šta je problem... Kako se naziva pauza između strofe i refrena u narodnoj muzici?- PA KAAAŽEE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D i g i t a L Posted January 31, 2014 Report Share Posted January 31, 2014 Kupijo Muja sinu zvaku.Malac duvo,duvo balon i balon pukne.Na to ce Muja sjebali ga,sjeba. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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